Why I’m Not Writing this Essay

by Akim Reinhardt I've been writing 3QD Monday columns for over six years now. Never missed a deadline. Not a one of ‘em. Every fourth Monday: Bang! 2,000 words. More like 2,500. I enjoy it. I look forward to it. Each December, when the city of Baltimore mails every resident a Baltimore City Department of…

The Counter Revolution

by Akim Reinhardt The United States boasts a deeply conservative economic tradition. From its origins as a colonial, agricultural society, it quickly emerged as a slave holding republic built on the ethnic cleansing and occasional genocide of Indigenous peoples. After the Civil War (1861-65), it reshaped itself in the crucible of unfettered laissez-faire capitalism straight…

Throw Your Vote Away

by Akim Reinhardt To say this has been an interesting presidential election season would be an understatement. Regardless of who is declared president after the polls close three weeks from tomorrow, this is almost certainly a tussle that historians will pick over and analyze for decades to come, if not centuries. They're apt to do…

An Open Letter to Trump Supporters

Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Ronald Reagan, Clintonista, Trumpatista, Wile E. Coyote and Roadrunner, Jesus, John Kasich, Old man George Bush, Democrats, Republicans, James Garfield, Chester Arthur, Ali-Frazier, Andrew Jackson, John Quincy Adams, Samuel Tilden, Rutherford Hayes, Abraham Lincoln, The People’s Party, William Jennings Bryan, William McKinley, Herbert Hoover, Al Smith, Franklin Roosevelt, The New Deal, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, Colin Powell, Fortune Magazine, Dwight Eisenhower

The Two Party System is Officially a Nightmare

by Akim Reinhardt Much has been made of the fact that Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are the two most loathed presidential candidates since the birth of polling. Each of them has managed to alienate roughly half the country. About a quarter of Americans despise both of them. They make Barry Goldwater, Michael Dukakis, and…

Why You’re Going to Vote for Trump and How You Can Win a Free Ticket to Mexico

by Akim Reinhardt Hello. My name is Akim Reinhardt, I was very, very wrong, and now it's time for me to pay for my mistakes. The good news is, when I pay, you just might be the one to collect. My loss can be your windfall. The catch? You'll have to publicly debase yourself almost…

Prince, Bowie, and Glenn Frey: 21st Century Public Mourning as a Rejection of Cold War Culture, or, Why Nobody Really Gives a Shit About that Guy from the Eagles

by Akim Reinhardt David Bowie was a white Englishman. Prince was a black American. Bowie was deeply rooted in the riffs, major/minor chords, and melody of rock-n-roll. Prince was grounded in the syncopated rhythms and arrangements of funk and R&B. Prince's and Bowie's careers did overlap to a degree. Their biggest selling albums, Bowie's Let's…

Some of the People All of the Time (On Trump’s Legion)

by Akim Reinhardt You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time. For example, some people will always believe that Abraham Lincoln first uttered this famous aphorism, even though there is no record of him ever…

On Writing a Coffee Table Book

by Akim Reinhardt I wrote my first poem when I was 11 years old. Simple quatrains with an ABCB rhyme scheme, it was a meditation on the 6th grade coming to an end. I enjoyed the work of writing it and was proud of the finished product. Up until that point, whenever an adult had…

From Andrew Jackson to Donald Trump: Chasing the White Working Class

by Akim Reinhardt Progressives, moderates, and even many conservatives are aghast at Donald Trump's populist appeal. As this cantankerous oaf flashes ever brighter in the political pan, they fret that his demagoguery might land him the Republican presidential nomination, and perhaps even carry him all the to White House. I'm not worried about the prospect…

Is Donald Trump a Fascist? Will He Be the Next President? No, and Fuck No

by Akim Reinhardt Back in August, here at this very site, I published a piece dismissive of Donald Trump's chances of gaining the White House. I called those who feared he would become our next president “worry warts.” My basic contention was that Trump is involved in a quadrennial rite: announcing his presidential candidacy as…

Are We Witnessing a Major Shift in America’s Two-Party System?

by Akim Reinhardt In the 150 years since the end of the U.S. Civil War, the Republicans and Democrats have maintained a relentless stranglehold on every level of American politics nearly everywhere at all times. While a handful of upstart third parties and independent candidates have periodically made waves, none has ever come close to…

Is the Syrian Refugee Crisis the Worst Since World War II?

by Akim Reinhardt There's a new meme infecting the internet. The Syrian refugee crisis is the worst refugee crisis since World War II. It's all over the place. Just google the words “worst refugee crisis.” Don't even put “Syria” or “WWII” in the search bar. What follows is a string of mainstream media articles labeling…

The Donald Is Coming! The Donald Is Coming!

by Akim Reinhardt I've lost track already. During the past month, too many people to keep count of, each with a look of bemused panic in their eye, has asked me if I think Donald Trump has a chance. Knocked back on their heels by the frenzy surrounding Trump's recent surge, they implore me to…

Burning My Confederate Flag

by Akim Reinhardt To be born in America in 1967 is, to some degree, to fall through the cracks. The Baby Boom was most certainly over by then, its most senior elements old enough to vote and drink. But the Millennials, now the focus of every drooling advertising executive and marketing guru, were naught but…