by Tamuira Reid
She calls me in the middle of the night. I call her when I know she won't be home.
“How many floors are in your building?”
“What? Mom, I'm sleeping.”
“Tell me how many floors!”
“I don't know. Five? Six?”
“Okay good. As long as it's not a high rise. You know, they always bomb the big buildings first. You're better off moving to Brooklyn.”
She is round and smooth and old. I'm younger, harder, meaner. She's the clear blue rock you find at the water's edge, the one that has been caressed by time. I'm the piece of glass that cuts your finger, the broken cola bottle that you mistake for something else.
I still don't know what I want to be. I don't know where I want to live. I don't know if I'll ever make it.
She cries when no one is around. Dreams in private. Wishes things were different.
I smoke too many cigarettes. My mother has never had a single puff. I take long, poetic walks along the Hudson River. Her shoes give her blisters. I read books. She buys the audio. We listened to Sarah Palin's memoir on the way to Los Angeles last summer for my cousin's wedding. Hours of torture. My mother likes to be entertained while she drives.
I've had several boyfriends. She is a serial monogamist. I know when it is time to get out. She forgives too easily.
Mom likes Mel Gibson. A lot. “I can't stand him,” I tell her. “He's racist and conservative. His politics suck.”
“But he has such an amazing handlebar moustache. I love handlebar moustaches.”
“He doesn't have one.”
“Does, too.”
“Mom, you're thinking of Tom Selleck. Magnum PI?”
Lots of facts exist only in my mother's world. She is never wrong in her world. She is never late in her world. She is never depressed in her world.