by Tamuira Reid
Mike and Ingrid, New York City
I sleep with her. I sleep next to a box with my wife in it. And I probably always will. I know it sounds crazy and people would shake their heads and give a whole lot of poor Mikes’sif they found out about it but I don’t give a fuck. I can’t let go. I can’t. Like, I literally can’t. I wake up in the middle of the night and I’m wrapped-up around the box like it’s her.
The super came over to fix the radiator and saw the box in the bed. He didn’t say anything, finished his work and left. But he knew what was in that box. His wife Cheryl died of cancer and he has a box, too. It’s on an altar next to his TV.
Right before she died, Ingrid told me don’t you dare put me in the ground, Mike. Anywhere but the ground. We had never talked about cremation and burial or really death much before. She was thirty-two when she died. It just never came up.
Vera and Lynn, Ohio
We met when we were in our twenties and came out to our families together. It was hard back then, telling people you were gay. I’m an 81 year-old woman and it’s still hard. People can be pretty ignorant. But none of that bothered Vera much. She never really did care too much what people thought of her, or us. Let them talk, she’d always tell me. Makes us look much more interesting than we really are. It’s been almost thirty years since she died and I can still hear her voice in my head. I know people worry about this, forgetting what their loved ones sound like. Never been my problem. Maybe I’m lucky or cursed, who knows?
Car accident. Drunk driver. I don’t like to talk about the accident. What’s to say about it? Some jerk wiped her off the face of the earth that night. He’ll be in jail for a long time and she’s gone and life is just really, really unfair, isn’t it? I had her cremated and spread her ashes in our garden out back. Still think it’s the best garden in the neighborhood, hands down. And I have to say the roses have never looked better. Maybe that is a little grotesque to think, but Vera always did lean towards the dark side of things. She’d appreciate me using her as fertilizer.
I’m moving to Cleveland next week, to my son’s home. My granddaughter, Nina, brilliant young thing, is heading off to Smith and I’m taking her room. It’s large enough but I don’t want to leave my house. Maybe I’ll hide in the garden.
