by Joan Harvey
Like most people of a certain age, at any one time I have the unfortunate experience of knowing several people, some close, some not, who have cancer. It has become standard for the friend or spouse of the ill person to join one of the many message boards devoted to the subject and post updates to keep their friends and relatives informed. Others use Facebook to share information. Currently there are three people whose lives I follow, mostly from a distance, all with serious forms of cancer, one newly diagnosed but metastasized, two others who have been fighting for months and months.
I began to think more about the social aspects of illness when today’s usual protocol was not followed. It’s a truism to say we often notice things more in their absence, and it was the lack of shared information when someone I cared for was dying that made me aware how accustomed we are to being included in the progress (or lack thereof) of the cancer patient and how we come to depend on receiving a steady stream of updates on the ill. When this doesn’t happen and we aren’t notified of all the steps toward healing or death along the way, we feel cut off, and this can create a sense of deprivation. Read more »