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Mike Bendzela

Mike Bendzela's collection, Metazoan Variations: Evolutionary Fables and Other Emblematic Tales, was published by UnCollected Press in 2020. A chapbook of selected pieces published here at 3QD won the Maine Writers and Publishers Alliance Chapbook Series Contest and was released as Notes From Above Ground in October of 2025. Email: michael.bendzela [at] maine.edu

The 500-Dollar Apple

Posted on Monday, Oct 24, 2022 1:10AMMonday, October 24, 2022 by Mike Bendzela

by Mike Bendzela Hannah was a wide-horned, burgundy-red American Milking Devon heifer, with bug eyes and such a timid disposition you got the impression of a creature permanently bewildered.  You could not approach her; she would just pace off to a corner of the barnyard pasture and stare at you from a distance. And she…

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Anecdote, Belief, And Wonder

Posted on Monday, Sep 26, 2022 1:25AMMonday, September 26, 2022 by Mike Bendzela

by Mike Bendzela How would you account for the following weird experience? Do you have a handy explanation, or do you dismiss it outright? When I was twelve, Dad used to drop me off in the twilight in front of the parish across town to serve Mass, usually a Wednesday before dawn, because that was…

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About Ourselves: We Are Not Even Wrong

Posted on Monday, Aug 29, 2022 1:40AMMonday, August 29, 2022 by Mike Bendzela

by Mike Bendzela “I am not an animal! I am a human being!”–“John” Merrick, The Elephant Man (1980 film) “Das ist nicht nur nicht richtig; es ist nicht einmal falsch. [That is not only not right; it is not even wrong.]”–Attributed to Wolfgang Pauli  We get no traction on a problem until we develop a…

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As Darwinian As Apple Pie

Posted on Monday, Aug 1, 2022 1:50AMMonday, August 1, 2022 by Mike Bendzela

by Mike Bendzela Over thirty years ago, my then-partner-now-spouse, Don, began planting heritage apple trees on the small farm where we are tenants, in an attempt to partially restore the historical orchard of Herbert W. Dow, traditional Maine farmer and cider-imbiber. Herbert’s original, handwritten map of the apple trees he grew out back was still…

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Abort All Thought That Life Begins

Posted on Monday, Jun 27, 2022 2:05AMMonday, June 27, 2022 by Mike Bendzela

by Mike Bendzela One tedious outcome of the ascendance of the anti-abortion movement in the United States is having to listen to the tiresome arguments about “the beginning of [human] life.” It’s like being stuck in a dentist’s office waiting for an appointment while nauseating top-forty hits from the 1970s play on a hidden radio. Not…

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Cautionary Fables for Darwin’s Birthday

Posted on Monday, Feb 12, 2018 12:02AMThursday, June 23, 2022 by Mike Bendzela

by Mike Bendzela Tribes In the great class of mammalian vertebrates, antagonism arose between the egg-laying monotremes and the marsupials. Neither side could see the other on its own terms, each insisting it was the True Mammal. An opossum (Didelphis) complained, “The platypus is a shameful pretender! It won’t admit that it is a failed…

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Three Fables to Commemorate Charles Darwin

Posted on Monday, Feb 13, 2017 12:18AMThursday, June 23, 2022 by Mike Bendzela

by Mike Bendzela The Smiling Toads of Darwin's Bluff An obscure species of Bufo inhabits a remote point of land called Darwin's Bluff. Long ago, one of these toads learned to "smile," but this was a fluke: It was born with a congenital defect of the jaw. Like most toads, it spent its days in…

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Five fables for these times

Posted on Monday, Oct 10, 2016 12:25AMThursday, June 23, 2022 by Mike Bendzela

by Mike Bendzela Ants versus Termites Some ants (Formicidae) living under a certain wood stump were incapable of realizing that they didn't know anything. Their antennae were exquisitely tuned to find the airs of their own colony agreeable. The edicts that wafted down from their Queen filled them with an illusion of knowledge and reason.…

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