From The Telegraph:
Anton Chekhov (1860-1904)
“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him.”
American singer Cher (1946-)
“Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats”
Comedian Woody Allen (1935-)
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
Comedian and actor Groucho Marx (1890-1977)
“I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe'”
Comedian Joan Rivers (1933-2014)
“I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack, she wrote for an ambulance”
Irish comedian Frank Carson (1926-2012)
“She was as sated with him as he was tired of her. Emma had rediscovered in adultery all the banality of marriage.”
Gustave Flaubert (1821-1880)
“Love: a temporary insanity curable by marriage”
Ambrose Bierce (1842-c1914)
More here.