In an effort to lighten up dark days humans invented gallows humor. Gallows humor is a variation of whistling past the graveyard. Whistling past the graveyard is itself a reaction to looking for silver linings and finding none —not under bank vaults, in the recesses of broom closets in the US Treasury, nor among wisps of pocket lint in the suit of the Chairman of the Federal Reserve, nowhere. And looking for clouds with silver linings in the middle of a Class 5 typhoon is either a sign of rank desperation or a futile search for the last shred of the flag of hope straining horizontally in a fierce wind longing to be let loose and put out of its misery.
Anyway, people like to laugh about disaster. Keeping to this tradition, and in this spirit, I've discovered some poetic responses to financial collapse I thought might be appropriate as the U.S. Congress spars with the President in a game of chicken regarding the bailout of the U.S. auto industry. You'll find these below.
(To all poetry purists out there: take a vacation; don't waste your breath on comments about aesthetics or the absence of excellence, or complain that this is not Shakespeare …I know, I know.)
…..The Sound of Wall Street', by Mary Levai, the editor of Bill Fleckenstein's daily Market Rap:
Raindrops on Wall Street and whiskers on nitwits
Bright copper futures and false affidavits
Brown paper stock options tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things.
Opaque financials as layered as strudels
Dead fish as upright as overcooked noodles
Net-income forecasts with phony ka-chings
These are a few of my favorite things.
Funds' window dressing in evergreen sashes
Flaky financials from lax lads and lasses
Fed easing summers, fall, winter and springs
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the Dow bites
When the Sox stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad.
Bailouts for bumblers, and bankruptcy rumors
C-E-O car chiefs stripped down to bloomers
Twenty-five billion to rank ding-a-lings
These are a few of my favorite things
When all graphs slump
As all banks cling
When I'm far from glad
I simply remember my favorite things
Then I go stark, raving mad.
Leverage is… (Part 1), from Cassandra, of Cassandra Does Tokyo:
leverage is
as leverage does
increasing the fizz
as well as the buzz
it has no emotion
keeping no friends
its not magic potion
just what a bank lends
treat it with caution
do treat it with care
else abusing its fractions
might cause you to swear
'course when in a bull
it will certainly yield
buckets more full
wiv wotever you've stealed
but…if in a bear
be you levered and long
the loss that you'll wear
makes you ev'r more wrong
Or how about some verse with a little graphic punch? Here's Broker Joe (very Suessian). Check it out.
And from past busts (so as not to feel singled out by fate), Thomas Love Peacock, 1825:
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