by Ethan Seavey
I like the typewriter.
A gift from a friend. A manual 1963 Smith Corona Silent Super in sandalwood carrying case with keys I understand (letters and the space bar) and even keys I will never understand (SET and CLR). Yes it is the Super Silent but no it is not silent and in fact it is quite loud (when in use) which is fun for me. Tapping keys to be loud and writing to think out loud.
Here are some snippets from the free flowing thoughts which come out of typewriter therapy:
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December the Fourth
most of us would have to agree, yes, that looking at people from very far away (through binoculars) is a creepy habit. but what is so wrong? seeing people without their knowledge, i suppose, but i do that all the time as a peer and it’s only wrong when i am a peer-er
i don’t see anything private because they are in public, after all, walking through the park or parking their cars
but still it’s wrong to spy on that man with a rounded chin and bright eyes, wearing camouflage swoveralls and approaching a parked car to let his dog out. a big black lab and manic pink tongue.
it is wrong to watch the smile grow on the man’s face as he runs off with the lab
towards the patch of grass
such unforbidden unrestricted emotion, allowed by his solitude, complicated by me, a witness.
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sometimes I think that music was once communal and rhythmic…. loud and full voices wailing about trials and grief and so loud and slow sung by high elders mixing random syllables…unintelligible and stupid
then i think of writing which was dumb bears on a wall and just barely more than art. i think of how old artists didn’t know how to draw a face like before Jesus or something. Yeah, it was probably Jesus who put the human into the monkey
those human specific traits like loving + sex (not mating) + reason and godliness and sentience and not thoughtless entities free of heart + mind
more than animal we are GODS
i have been told so many times.
then I realize stupid mystery authors and classless pop stars have always existed even 20,000 years ago. her name was Grundle’s Mother and she sang about revenge when the city called for forgiveness
she rallied troops and them them to war
she sang like a frog, deep and loud, and floated on her back on lakes for countless times…time wasn’t measured the same way… she was eccentric and powerful…
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10.20.2023
i think a lot about friday and saturday because it is the first time my family will be together
since my dad came out
i saw queerness as magickal and freeing before then
and since then maybe it is a curse
it strikes like a knife in the dark.
do you realize it will not go away?
even if you stay in predator mode, hunting it down
clean typewriter bottom — might help with weird spacing.
i do feel happy most days 🙂
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One boy I met was none other than a fairy but he has no idea that magic followed where he walked…
this fairy was guised as a pretty young checker in the grocery store where I work and his neck was very exposed to the wind coming in from the open door….each time i met him he looked a little different and figured out a new way to protect himself. one time he wore a blue athletic jacket and i said it looked nice and he blushed and in broken English said it was new and something I did not understand but I smiled back…
next he looked much younger and spoke English just fine. He had a long head of curls to protect his nape. He talked disturbingly formally, charismatically, and says enough funny stuff to make me flustered like yes a carnival barker, with gusto, WHY THANK YOU for your reusable bag, ALLOW ME TO FILL IT NOW. I would think it sass if he weren’t such a gentleman and standing in the way of me bagging myself… like the last encounter, so hard to speak…
he appeared again to order a smoothie from me and he was somebody i’d noticed before but who’d dismissed me the first time i had tried to speak to him. after ordering he told me that he used to work in this department…
i froze and said nothing witty at all….
this fairy is beautiful and catches my eye. it is so many people and so many shapes.
who would….n’t want to surround himself with fairies like these, like him + them.