“Sign up and you’re signing away your free time!” That’s just one of the many myths out there about Today’s Military. The reality? 30 days of paid vacation a year is the norm. From salaries to Basic Training, there are lots of misconceptions about military life. Maybe it’s time to familiarize yourself with the truth.
—From Today’s Military, a government Web site.
Dude, we totally know what you’re thinking. That you’ll have to wake up early. That we’ll make you run all day with heavy stuff on your back. That you have to be drug-free, know how to read, and rank the U.S. as one of your top five favorite countries. Wrong, wrong, and wrong! And whatever else you’re thinking? Wrong!
The Army is actually a whole lot of fun. Picture this: You get up—ten, eleven, whatever’s good for you. Then we have brunch. Pancakes, waffles, French toast, some grease if the night before was a rough one. Sugar cereals. Then, at 1200 hours—just kidding! nobody here uses that number thing anymore—around noonish we hit the Xbox for a few hours of Halo and all-you-can-eat Cool Ranch Doritos. It’s combat training without breaking a sweat. After a quick nap, we pack in some more training by watching a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie marathon. Then a dinner of chipped beef on toast, dehydrated mashed pota- Again, totally joking! We’re having Taco Bell every night, all night, washed down by some of the best that Milwaukee has to offer.
As for uniforms, could that G.I. Joe crap have been any dorkier?