OPERATOR: 911. What is your urgence?
CALLER: Operator, I need an ambulance. I think I just cut my finger off in the blender …
OPERATOR: (The sound of a cigarette being lit, then an exhale.)
CALLER: Do you hear me, man! I need an ambulance at 2304 Powell St. Now!
OPERATOR: Ceci s’intéresse. Yes, the predicament of Roquentin … yes … it is the indifference to existence of the inanimate. No matter how much he longs for something other or something different, he cannot get away from the plundering evidence of his engagement with the world. You know, le Monde. I think we must look at …
CALLER: What in the shit are you talking about? I was just making margaritas …
OPERATOR: Ah, oui. Vous pensez. A typical ignorance of the common folk. Perhaps this is why you sit with your extremity half-digested in the bowels of the blender. It seems you are … comment devoir je dis … a student of Kant? Freedom. I spit.
more from McSweeney’s here.