by Bonnie McCune
When my grandson was about two, I heard him stirring from his nap and went to his bedroom to get him up. He saw me at the door and clambered to his feet, clinging to the rail of his crib. “I got eye blooows,” he announced with pride, indicating with a pointed finger the yellow fuzz framing one eye.
I can imagine his curiosity as he first felt the ridge frequently called the brow ridge, the bony prominence above the eyes, known also as the supraorbital ridge. Touching the hairs and wondering what in the heck they are. Asking his parents why his face sprouted these strange growths. Checking faces of people around him for similar protrusions.
A momentous discovery, probably more for me than for him. It’s difficult for adults to get any view, even a squinty-eyed one, into the mind of a child just learning about himself and life. I was lucky. This particular child, at that precise time, paired verbal skills with a questioning mind and was able to say what he was thinking. I’d never caught a glimpse of the process before although I’d wondered how a kid learns.
I’ll give you an answer. It’s the same way a kid learns about a roly-poly bug and how it faces danger. They poke at it. Go nudge something and get excited about it, learn about it. This is actually how we continue to learn about life in all its fascinating variations. We witness some phenomenon, wonder about it, and learn and think.
We don’t claim we’re always right. Aging is a particularly delicate topic. Some of us don’t want to admit we’re not as charming or beautiful or strong or healthy as we once were. So we cover up with white lies and smiles.
But how does each of us determine, and ADMIT, we’re old? One answer from a number of studies and thoughtful people is that “old” is often twenty years older than you are right now. In my case, since I’m already older than more than 95% of the US population, that means I’m old. No way around it. But even more amazing to me than my actual years is that I DON’T FEEL OLD. When people hold the door open for me, I look around to see where the old person is. Usually the door-opener remains patiently frozen in place until I come to my wits, thank them, and enter.
I don’t habitually believe myself old, perhaps because I’ve always felt “different.” I long ago came to terms with accepting myself as I am. A misplaced round peg in a square hole. Marching to my own drummer who, evidently, is one other people don’t hear. The odd one out. Still, this is different from the aging process. Aging seems external. Measurable. There are physical markers by which the oldies as well as people around them can distinguish them. An uncertainty in the step, a shakiness of hands, a quaver in the voice.
Intangible nonconformity differs. This quality can be indistinguishable to others. Of course you can be a nonconformist who is nuts, like Jeffrey Dahmer. Or you could be unconventional or eccentric, both of which contain an element of charming individuality.
My grandmother-in-law, Granma Helen, used to complain about aging, “I don’t feel any different on the inside. Why do I feel different on the outside.” We of the succeeding generation wouldn’t answer. The woman was 93 years old, for heaven’s sake. Of course, her body, her physical presence would feel different. What’s to wonder at?
We missed the point. Now that I’m pushing along in years, I can understand. Granma Helen was what we called a pistol. Full of energy, ready to speak her mind, careless of other people’s judgments, she never slowed down. Her opinions were firm but unresearched. Evidently when she first saw television (this was the 40s) she thought perhaps the people on the screen were tiny live people. The thought at least crossed her mind because she was careful to explain to a grandson (my husband) when he was a child about how the people were full-sized but enlarged by the equipment. No wonder she felt the same in her mind and emotions.
In the United States, the official age to be considered a senior citizen is generally 65, as this is the benchmark for Medicare eligibility and the age used by the U.S. Census Bureau to define the “older population.” However, eligibility for specific benefits can vary, with some programs like Social Security allowing for early claiming at age 62, and other senior discounts or services may start as early as age 55 or 60.
I’m lucky. I have relatives and friends of different ages, and I’m learning age is just a number. The quote “Age is just a number” is a popular phrase used to express that chronological age is not a definitive indicator of a person’s capabilities, maturity, or spirit. Examples include variations like actress Joan Collins’ quote: “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine,”. The phrase suggests that one can still live a full and active life regardless of their age, emphasizing mindset and attitude over physical years.
Many believe that one’s inner spirit doesn’t age, as captured by Gertrude Stein’s thought, “We are always the same age inside.” A youthful mindset is about maintaining a positive attitude, engagement, and curiosity with life and learning, regardless of your actual age.
This was certainly true of Granma Ellen, when she pronounced “I don’t know how I can be old. I feel 25 inside.” This is the woman who, at age 93 regularly climbed a ladder to touch up the paint on her two-story home. (She’s also the one who managed to swallow an open safety pin at the same age, no one figured out how, and had to undergo surgery to remove it.)
I don’t think there’s a law or a treatment that will enable anyone to live to a specific age. People have tried forever to figure this out. However, I assume the current president could arbitrarily decide upon different, specific years for “old” since he appears to have the power to change any regulation or law at whim. In the meantime, I’ve learned one important trait that seems to help extend human life spans generally: Maintain curiosity. This is an important component to sharpen the mind and keep you enthusiastic about the process of living.
This characteristic is a hallmark of people who are involved and interested in many things. Like my grandson. We can encourage, adopt curiosity at any age to make our lives fuller and fulfilling. Any time is the right time to check your inquisitiveness. Have you examined your face recently? Don’t bother with wrinkles. Study your eye bloows. What do they look like? What do they do for you?
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Bonnie McCune is a Colorado writer and has published several novels as well as other work. Reach her at www.BonnieMcCune.com.
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