THE OBAMA E-MAILS

Nathaniel Stein in The New Yorker:

Friend—When I decided to run for president, I had significantly fewer gray hairs than I do today. Michelle says I’ve earned them, which is the nicest possible way to say I’m getting older. In fact, I’m turning 51 in a couple weeks, and to celebrate I’m heading home to Chicago … Donate $3 or whatever you can to support the campaign, and you’ll be automatically entered to join me… Barack”
—Obama fundraising e-mail

Friend—Isn’t it amazing how time flies? It seems like just yesterday I was a spry senator of forty-five. Today, I experience joint and back pain, and my cholesterol is frankly not where it should be. Michelle’s no help: she tells me this is the kind of thing I can expect “now that I’m in my fifties.” Will you help, by donating $3 or more today? —Barack

Friend—Being President is a pretty tough job. And I’ll be honest: it isn’t made any easier by the fact that I have a hernia. I know there’s one thing that will make me feel better, though. That’s right. Just $3—or more. —Barack

Friend—There are two things that I can use the phrase “more than ever” about: 1) how often I now wake up in middle of the night to use the restroom, and 2) how much I need your help in the campaign. Donate today—and thank you. —Barack

Friend—This morning, I had a routine EKG. But I don’t want just anyone interpreting the results. That’s not the way I ran my campaign, and it’s not the way I conduct my Administration, or my personal life. If you’re a doctor: please, donate $3 or more for a chance to be automatically entered to take a look at my EKG. I know you’ll come through for me. —Barack

More here. [Thanks to Batool Raza.]