by Daniel Gauss

Did you ever read Ambrose Bierce’s short story “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge”? If not, it starts as the story of a man who is going to be hanged. As the trap door opens under him, he falls, the rope tightens around his neck but snaps instead of bearing his weight, and he is able to escape from under the gallows. For several pages he wanders through a forest truly sensing the fullness of life in himself and around himself for the first time.

He feels he is now completely free and begins to experience intense joy. Perhaps, deep down inside, he even determines to reform his life and…oops, his neck finally breaks. It turns out that as a gesture of kindness to his body, or as an act of cognitive desperation or neuronal panic, his mind has been imaging a wonderful new life as he is falling through the trap door.

This slows his experience of time down considerably so that within the short time it takes for his neck to break, he experiences several imaginary hours of intense life, freedom and bliss.

I believe this could occur. Actually, I think this kind of thing is happening to me right now. But hold on, I probably still have time until I drown to death.

So, I was three years old. This is real, this really happened. My family – dad, mom, sis, brother and I – are driving west from our home in Chicago to Colorado. My brother spots a lake where people are picnicking and swimming. The car gets pulled over and everyone changes into swimming apparel in a changing area.

My family explained to me, “Dan, don’t go into the water, OK? This isn’t a swimming pool with a shallow end. This is a lake. Everything is deep. OK?” I had just learned the words “shallow” and “deep” – my older sister aspired to be a teacher and was always teaching me something. “OK,” I said, “Too deep. Don’t go in.”

My mom and sister went to lie down in the sun while my father and brother started jumping off rocks and piers and splashing around in the water. What my family had not accounted for was the hubris of 3-year-old over-confidence. Read more »