the elements of spam


14. Use the active voice.

Notice how aloof the passive voice is.

Your balls are to be slurped the most by cum-starved nymphos!!!!!

Hardly persuasive. The five exclamation points feel tacked on, an attempt by an inexperienced writer to breathe life into a desiccated construction. The active voice, however, allows you to write with verve and straightforwardness.

Cum-starved nymphos will slurp your balls the most!!!!!

16. Use definite, specific, concrete language.

Generalities enervate your writing; strong details invigorate it.

In short order, you'll notice enhanced length and girth.

What is meant by “short order”? A week? A month? The imprecision is suspicious. Further, avoid bankrupt modifiers such as enhanced. Rewrite with exactness.

Your exactly one week away from an 11-inch jizz stick.

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